


Shipping Victory

by TabisMouse (Mousieta)



Series: Expanded Outlines [2]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Depression, Friends to Lovers, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Past Relationship(s), Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 11:11:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15532953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mousieta/pseuds/TabisMouse
Summary: It's been happening with increasing frequency, Seunghyun's sex-dreams of Seungri but there is no way they can be together. The band, his ex, celebrity and, well, the whole detail of Seungri being straight. And yet, Seunghyun can't stop from dreaming about it, longing for it, needing it.





	Shipping Victory

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: this is not a typical fic. 
> 
> This is part of my Expanded Outlines series, which are just what they sound like. Over the years I've developed relatively worked out plots for fics that I will just never have the time to write. I've decided to expand these outlines a bit and post them for others to enjoy.
> 
> This idea was first sketched out in January 2015. Elements of it eventually wound up in my fics [ Smile of Victory ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6354343) and [ The Dinner](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4547367) but I always wanted it to have its own story. Unfortunately, that story would probably wind up being like 30k. So this is the best I can do.
> 
> Expect more in this series, soon!

The mouth is delicious and teasing, tracing over his pecs, over his collar, along his ribs. Warm, sensitive fingers trace over his nipples and Seunghyun moanes. His hands clutch at dark hair as his hips thrust up off of the bed. 

The mouth works lower and lower, tongue gliding along his stomach. The fingers flutter down his ribs, along his spine and hook into the waist of his pajamas. Seunghyun moans, feeling the blood rush under his flesh, heating his skin, pooling in his cock. 

“Yes,” he moans, and thrusts up again, grinding his cock up along neck, his head hitting chin. It isn’t enough. He needs more. He yanks at his pants and a voice chuckles, the throat vibrating against his cock. Dark eyes look up at him.

“What do you want, hyung?” Seungri says, eyes dancing and a smile playing at his lips. 

Startled, Seunghyun jerks himself awake, his heart racing. It was a dream. He’d been dreaming. He buried his head in his pillows and tries to calm his heart. He had been dreaming, about Seungri. He squirms uncomfortably, pajamas sticking to his sweat-slicked skin. He is hard and unsatisfied. He should roll over, try to clear his mind.

The sight of Seungri licking down his stomach flashes in his mind, instead and, knowing it is wrong, knowing he shouldn’t, he grips himself. The phantom feeling of Seungri’s fingers ghosts over his nipples. It doesn’t take long. He is quick, he’d been so close already. After, he rolls over and passes out. 

The next morning he wakes, a bit disgusted with himself and the mess. It’s been happening, at first occasionally and then with growing frequency. At first he’d felt a bit of relief, finally something invading his sleeping brain that wasn’t Jiyong. The first few months after the breakup were intense, overwhelming, his fixation on Jiyong, on getting back together had almost verged into obsession. 

And then came Seungri’s sex scandal. Little, childlike Seungri, all lanky limbs and goofy grins gone, replaced with a sultry, sexy being. 

“Get yourself together, Choi,” he tries to convince himself. This might start getting weird, things with the group post his and Jiyong’s breakup is already rough enough. He doesn’t need to start fixating. 

But….like he can do anything about his dreams. Plus, Seungri is straight as an arrow. On top of, Seunghyun isn’t over Jiyong yet, surely. They’d been so intense, all-encompassing, the breakup devastating. This crush is probably just a transference of that. No, not crush. It isn’t a crush. Attraction. Acknowledgment that little Seunghyun has grown up into the devastatingly attractive, sultry voiced, boyish-ly good looking Seungri. 

Seunghyun is a little bit thankful that he’s leaving to shoot The Commitment soon. It’ll keep his mind busy, keep him occupied, keep all interactions with Jiyong and Seungri strictly professional. 

Filming the movie is brutal, though, and that on top of the concerts and tours bring depression down deep into his bones. 

At the end of it he is spent, broken. The pain of seeing Jiyong, the isolation of his character in the film, his injury, and these new, confusing feelings stirring up heaps of guilt and shame, it was all too much. Seeing people becomes a chore, going outside an unbearable burden. His world shrinks and shrinks until it is completely encompassed within the bounds of his bed. 

Until Seungri shows up in his room, having pestered Jiyong for the code to Seunghyun’s house and, failing that, nagging his mom to get it from Seunghyun’s mom. 

Seunghyun wants to push Seungri away but, he can’t bear the thought of crushing Seungri’s smiling, eager face. Seungri knows Seunghyun is having a hard time and figures just having company will cheer him. So they spend time together, and when Seungri can’t go over, they chat on the phone. Some the chats are long, stretching into the night. Seungri gets the courage to ask about what it’s like to be gay, what it was like to date Jiyong, break up with Jiyong. Seunghyun is a coward and never asks about his sexuality. 

Seungri starts working on his first solo album and Seunghyun, so accustomed to Seungri being around now, feels empty. But, what the heck, they were bandmates, so he starts taking Seungri out to lunch and falls in love with Seungri talking about his album. Seungri asks his advice and listens to it thoughtfully. Sometimes, Seunghyun wakes up and finds himself in the studio just hanging around while Seungri works. 

Seungri says Seunghyun’s help has been invaluable. He wants to credit Seunghyun on the album but Seunghyun refuses. 

And just like that Seunghyun is drowning in unrequited love and Seungri is buoying along, basking in his hyung’s attention. Seunghyun is a mess of longing, desire, lust, repression and sexual frustration.

Which is how Seunghyun finds himself wandering the streets of New York posing for a photobook; it was Seungri’s idea. Only Seungri would conceive of a whole book of just T.O.P.’s face, and only lovesick Choi Seunghyun would take that idea to heart and actually  _ do _ it….then put on a damn gallery exhibition of it. 

After the shooting, he finds himself on the streets of New York, imagining himself walking hand in hand with Seungri, out, open, proud and in love and loved back. Ridiculous dream.

He gets himself a secret instagram account and convinces Daesung (another possessor of a secret instagram) to teach him to use it. He thirst-follows Seungri. 

He sits at home alone drinking wine and watching Seungri MVs for hours.

He downloads and watches all of Seungri’s Japanese variety appearances, cursing the translators that don’t work fast enough for his needs and, finally, succumbing to watching the unsubbed versions.

It’s getting out of control. 

Jiyong eventually figures it out, mostly cuz Daesung clued him in. Youngbae, of course, must then be brought in on the gossip. They all agree Seunghyun is definitely screwed. But Jiyong is pretty sure that - maybe - Seungri might not be as impossible a catch as Seunghyun might think, and despite everything, he  _ does _ want Seunghyun to be happy. 

But none of them want to push the pair together, better to let it develop or not on its own. They do get a kick out of it and, more and more, it feels like when Seunghyun flirts with Seungri, Seungri is flirting back. 

Then, comes Seungri’s car accident and Seunghyun just falls apart. He can’t call, he can’t visit, he’s just an anxious wreck, the worst case scenarios of what could have happened overwhelming him. He does manage to visit, briefly, for all of ten minutes before leaving. Seungri is safe, going to be ok, but he’s still in a hospital. 

Big Bang has to perform at the Asia Games without Seungri. By this time Jiyong has had it with the shenanigans. Right ever the games he flies back to Seungri, walks in and just blurts out “Idiot, your hung has been in love with you for years, call him because he is driving us all nuts.”

Queue Seungri: mindfuck.

He doesn’t call Seunghyun, instead he calls Daesung. They’ve gotten close from their time together in Japan and Daesung has insights into the working of Seunghyun’s mind that Seungri never will. 

“Yeah, he’s like completely gone on you, Seungri,” Daesung confirms. “We’ve all been able to see it, it is a miracle you haven’t.”

Seungri sits on that for a while. Not knowing how to deal with it, what to think. He isn’t disgusted, just - shocked. He starts to pay attention to Seunghyun, the way Seunghyun looks at him, the little smiles and touches they share, the way his name sounds on Seunghyun’s lips. 

Seungri tries not to be weird. Seungri is weird. 

He flies to Valencia, Spain, to look at a soccer club, then takes a visit to Paris and realizes as he walks ancient European streets that everything he sees is something he wishes he could see with Seunghyun. He and Seunghyun haven’t talked in a while - actually all their hanging out and late night conversations have ended since the accident. Seungri misses Seunghyun, deeply.

When he gets back he calls the rest of the gang and insists they help him with a confession. It has to be perfect: wine, candles, curated playlist, catered dinner, a thousand rose petals….

Seunghyun walks into a romantic fantasy constructed in his living room and Seungri, picture perfect in its center. Seungri confesses and Seunghyun embraces him, kisses him, lifts him and spins him, laughing with joy.

“God, this is so cheesy,” he says.

“You fucking love it, you know it,” Seungri replies. 

They laugh and eat and then awkwardly cuddle, then make out a little bit when all of a sudden Seungri freezes: “Hyung, I like you - love you - like you - whatever, but like can you take it easy with the butt stuff?” he cringes a bit “Not sure about all that just yet.”

Seunghyun, laughing: “Oh my god, of course, seriously I don’t care about butt stuff, we can never do it if you want, just like, keep making out with me ok?”

Seungri, self-conscious: “Seriously it’s ok? I don’t know, I could try butt stuff.” He stares off, pensive.

Seunghyun desperately wants to get Seungri to focus on the erections in both their pants and not the mythical ‘butt stuff’. “It’s fine Seungri, some guys aren’t very good at the butt stuff, it’s fine, and if you want I can take most of the butt stuff if you really want it, we can talk about that  _ later _ , though”

Seungri, offended: “Hey! I  _ could _ do butt stuff, I’d be  _ great _ at butt stuff, I’m not a scaredy-cat”

Seunghyun: “Ok you just sit there and think about butt stuff, I’m going to blow you now.”

….

And they lived happily ever after.


End file.
